


so let's take an oath one more time

by 10hr10minute



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 17:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10141316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10hr10minute/pseuds/10hr10minute
Summary: kwon soonyoung never goes according to lee jihoon's plans(based on the song しわ (shiwa)/ wrinkles. incidentally where the title is from)





	

**Author's Note:**

> \- um major character death happens /sweatdrops/  
> \- a drabble  
> \- notes at the end

 

_Love is not for me.  
_ _Because we’re still young and free._

 

And Jihoon sat in his classes in the day, and played soccer with his friends during recess, and went home to eat dinner cooked by his mother. If he had homework to do, he would have to do them, sat on the little plastic chair under lights incandescent. If he didn’t or if he did them early, he got to watch a bit of _tele_ , but just until 9 for then he needed to sleep.

Then one day, sometime in middle school, sometime in July, he was going home with Kwon Soonyoung, energetic, playful transfer student Kwon Soonyoung.

His family moved down the street from Jihoon’s, so the teacher told him, “why don’t you help our new friend?” And Jihoon said, “okay” because there was no reason to decline. Besides, it was a good deed.

Soonyoung made the classes noisier and the soccer games more competitive just by being there with his boundless passion, his endless enthusiasm.

An instant favourite.

But when he walked home with Jihoon it was such a quiet affair, Jihoon felt uneasy. Space between them without words, two people on different ends. Maybe Jihoon was a little upset too.

Curse that day when it rained, a relentless shower predicted by the forecast, and Soonyoung the type to forget his umbrella anyway.

Soonyoung thought to use his bag, a horrible idea made apparent after their first stretch of gravel, and Jihoon grumbled when he sheltered the other. Soonyoung said something strange, it sounded like an apology, though it was hard to tell with the sound of droplets swallowing the earth. And Jihoon called him stupid. A mean thing to say. His parents and teachers would surely not have approved. Yet true to the moniker, Soonyoung smiled at him, his shoulder drenched, teeth white.

 

_I’d say marriage is pointless.  
_ _After all, we’re pretty and restless._

 

Jihoon never thought he’d ever be sufficiently prepared to enter adult life, whatever that meant. An increase in responsibilities, a new way of looking at the world? He barely felt any different.

He thought this as he put on his suit, now he knew how to tie a tie, and went to work in a tall building with many windows. Hours on end, he slaved away at the computer screen, counting numbers, writing proposals. Work, work, break, work.

Everyone got off at sunset, a wave of black and white pouring into the city, and so instead of squeezing with them, he’d stay a couple of hours more, counting more numbers, writing more proposals.

When he was finally ready to call it a day, he’d trudge his way to the subway, phone pressed to his ear, listening to the chipper voice on the other end – Kwon Soonyoung.

Soonyoung who decided to become a teacher, fittingly, since he had always been good with kids. And the guy talked, and Jihoon talked back, until his train pulled up at his station, and he opened the door to his apartment, where he put down the phone, just so he could walk up to Soonyoung, give him a kiss, and talk some more.

Then one day, in the last days in the cold of winter, a financial year just wrapped up and Jihoon should be remembering what it’s like to breathe. But there is a stone heavy in his chest, guilt settling in his stomach like sediments in a lake, the unpleasant sight of Soonyoung upset coursing through his veins.

He shouted, he knew he did, something about trust or loyalty or a similar theme. He would have let Soonyoung keep all the secrets in the world if he could turn back time. Instead of this, instead of no phone call and no lights turned on in the house.

But Soonyoung was still there, and he was still not looking Jihoon in the eyes. He had something to say. Jihoon dreaded.

Down on one knee, a box lying on his hand. An apology, a speech, beautiful sentences by the candlelight. Jihoon cried, hit his fiancé as of two minutes ago in the chest. Called him a, “bloody idiot.”

Soonyoung broke into a smile as he replied, “let’s be together forever.”

 

_And I’ll never fear heartbreak.  
_ _When you could never be a mistake._

 

Jihoon kept his promises. He took pride in that. So even though he was sitting on a chair too uncomfortable for his aching back, he didn’t let that show. And he let Soonyoung talk to him, even though it was clear he could barely, simply let him talk without shedding a tear. Just like he promised.

Soonyoung sounded distinctively different from when he was young. Not enough strength in his pipes, always running out of air nearing the ends. He didn’t really look the same either, all the wrinkles, and Jihoon had watched how every single line came to be.

Together forever was a contract that was faulty from the start, because nothing could possibly last that long. Not even the concept of it.

He let Soonyoung talk and talk because he knew there would be no chance to hear him after. And it didn’t matter at all what Jihoon himself needed to say, he conveyed it all through his silence.

At some point, Soonyoung asked him to draw the curtain. There wasn’t really a need unless there was a doctor or nurse who needed to strip the patient for whatever medical reason. And truthfully, Jihoon didn’t want to because it would mean less time for Soonyoung to speak. But he did it anyway.

So there they were, one side the ugly green of the hospital wall, the other, cloth with stripes. Still Jihoon didn’t cry. He didn’t, truly. He only held Soonyoung’s hand close to him, only showed him a smile like he said he would.

Soonyoung called him beautiful.

Jihoon sniffled.

“I’m very happy right now.”

Jihoon gulped.

“I love you, Jihoon.”

His eyes started slipping close. Jihoon had to fight to get his tongue to move.

“I love you too… Soonyoung.”

It was barely a smile, an attempt to lift the corners of his lips, as Soonyoung took a breath, and they both must have known it was going to be the last.

Because then there was something that didn’t stir in the air, something severing inside Jihoon, while he sat there, back aching in his chair, face buried on a chest that wasn’t rising, wouldn't rise, limbs too weak to press the button for the nurse.

**Author's Note:**

> \- hey, sup, how was it? (ง ´͈౪`͈)ว
> 
> \- okay, so i had a dinner appointment but plans were changed because of the rain and i decided to challenge myself by a) writing a fic within an hour, b) based on the first song to play via shuffle  
> \--- the song turned out to be しわ (shiwa), which is kind of angsty on its own, haha shit  
> \--- then i remembered my meeting with this gay old man in the hospital and tada, this the garbage that was born  
> \--- tbh i'm not that great at writing angst and well, i'm not sure about this piece at all but w/e i'm posting
> 
> \- in other news, i've been getting so many half-ideas lately that i actually don't know what to work on and i end up spending more time reading than doing any writing of my own, help
> 
> \- but i'll still see you with whatever might be next. byeeee~


End file.
